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(New York Jewish Week) — Since Hamas’ assault on Israel on Oct. 7, there was an outpouring of fundraisers and activism from New York synagogues and Jewish establishments. Some shuls are holding fundraisers, others are packing medical kits, nonetheless extra are writing letters to IDF troopers.
However at one Higher East Aspect congregation, a brand new type of activism is rising in response to the grotesque assault, ongoing struggle and rising antisemitism: matchmaking.
The Altneu Synagogue — the progressive, two-year-old Orthodox congregation on the Higher East Aspect that started after its rabbi, Benjamin Goldschmidt, was fired from Park East Synagogue — has launched a matchmaking initiative for singles of their congregation and their fast buddies.
In line with Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt, who based the synagogue along with her husband, making Jewish {couples} is a technique to make sure a Jewish future at a time when so many are fearful the concept is at risk.
“Everybody’s making an attempt to determine what to do from right here,” Chizhik-Goldschmidt advised the New York Jewish Week. “I felt very a lot that one of the simplest ways to reply to darkness and demise is to usher in extra gentle and extra love and to convey individuals pleasure. Historically, that’s the Jewish response to disaster.”
On the night of Nov. 11, the Altneu despatched an e-mail to their congregants saying the matchmaking initiative; the Goldschmidts additionally spoke about it after providers on Shabbat and posted it on their social media. “The reception has been superb,” Chizhik-Goldschmidt mentioned, including that in lower than two weeks, nearly 200 individuals have signed up. About half are members of the Altneu.
Chizhik-Goldschmidt mentioned that the concept for a matchmaking program had come up organically amongst a number of members over the previous couple of months — curiosity in Jewish matchmaking was given a popular culture enhance when Netflix launched their hit sequence “Jewish Matchmaking” earlier this spring. However as a busy rebbetzin and mom of three younger youngsters, Chizhik-Goldschmidt felt she lacked the bandwidth to launch one thing new.
The occasions of Oct. 7, nonetheless, modified all of that.
“It’s a second the place lots of people have been like, ‘Wow, it’s on me to seek out somebody to proceed our Jewish peoplehood,’” mentioned Chizhik-Goldschmidt, who herself was arrange along with her husband a decade in the past on the insistence of group members and mutual buddies.
“It has been ringing in my head since Oct. 7 that I want to assist,” she added. “We, as a group, want to assist those that are searching for love and people who need to begin households. This second shook us awake and I feel it type of pressured us to shed a variety of our pretenses, the artifice, all of the video games that I typically see, particularly in Manhattan round relationship.”
The Altneu method to matchmaking is, just like the synagogue’s title, a mix of previous and new: events fill out a Google type that asks about household upbringing, training, hobbies, passions and spiritual observance, in addition to what they’re searching for in a associate. The types are collected by a bunch of “connectors,” 5 girls ranging in age from their late 20s by way of 50s, who will parse the solutions and counsel matches. This system is open to singles of any age — the one requirement is that the candidate will need to have a reference from an Altneu member.
“We didn’t need to be launching a brand new model of one other relationship web site — that wasn’t the aim,” Chizhik-Goldschmidt mentioned. “The aim is simply to type of leverage our community.”
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Joe Piroozian, who has been attending Altneu Shabbat providers and its each day minyan for about 10 months, mentioned that due to the congregation’s robust sense of group, he feels he has a greater probability of assembly his future partner there than on relationship apps.
“One of the simplest ways to do it’s to be arrange by individuals who perceive your way of life, perceive the place you prefer to spend your weekends, the place you spend your days,” the 29-year-old advised the New York Jewish Week. “What higher group of individuals to get arrange by than the individuals that you simply spend most of your time with?”
A 25-year-old lady locally, who requested to stay nameless, mentioned that discovering a Jewish associate is “an important piece of my life,” including that she selected to take part due to the care the congregation is placing into the method. “Particularly with the state of the world, I’m hoping to seek out my life associate and construct a lovely Jewish dwelling.”
“In a metropolis like New York, there are a variety of methods to fulfill individuals. However going to huge fundraisers and occasions and assembly lots of of individuals at a time isn’t all the time one of the best, most conducive place to actually meet your match,” mentioned one other Altneu member, Alexa Sokol, 30, who has been attending providers at The Altneu since final spring. “I’m trying ahead to having just a little bit extra of an infrastructure for relationship and having an middleman to really feel like there’s extra assist to the relationship course of reasonably than simply assembly somebody and also you’re by yourself,” she added.
The Altneu group gathered for a celebration of Purim, March 6, 2021. (Eli Weintraub)
Synagogue matchmaking isn’t a very unheard-of follow — because the rebbetzin identified, many {couples} meet on the kiddush buffet that follows providers, say, or are launched by family and friends. However Chizhik-Goldschmidt says the Altneu initiative places matchmaking on the communal agenda. “We’ll discuss assimilation, however what are we really doing to battle assimilation?” she mentioned.
Eden Schonfeld Fischman, one of many matchmakers, mentioned that this system felt totally different to her as a result of it emphasizes group involvement and intergenerational connections, with out feeling stuffy or formal.
“It’s not like your grandmother’s shadchan,” mentioned Fischman, utilizing the Hebrew phrase for matchmaker. She joined the congregation because it launched in October 2021. “On the Altneu, that is one thing that’s very natural. Now we have so many younger professionals which might be as dedicated to a group and their faith as they’re to their careers right here.”
After Oct. 7, “individuals have just a little bit totally different take and really feel about hopefully being with one other Jewish particular person,” she added. “The Jewish group is clutching to our id. We understand what’s at stake right here now, so I feel we’re in the proper place on the proper time.”
Piroozian mentioned that actively searching for a associate has change into a a lot greater precedence for him for the reason that Hamas assault on Israel on Oct. 7. “Particularly throughout this time, I really feel the necessity to strengthen our group. One of the simplest ways to strengthen our group and to battle antisemitism is by constructing robust households with non secular and ethical values,” he mentioned.
“There’s been a mass awakening with Jews world wide on consciously and unconsciously that their id issues,” Sokol mentioned. “Having locations the place your Jewish development is taken into account and inspired — together with marriage — helps people who find themselves on the fence push themselves to the subsequent step.”
The primary spherical of types will shut in a couple of weeks, Chizhik-Goldschmidt mentioned.
“Now we have restricted vitality, we have now restricted time, we have now restricted sources,” she mentioned. “If this complete initiative solely leads to only one pair discovering each other, it’s value it.”
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