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(JTA) — A number of months in the past, earlier than she met with the pope and Elon Musk, earlier than her adopted house was thrust into battle by a brutal assault, earlier than she grew to become one of the vital outstanding faces of a hostage disaster, Rachel Goldberg was desperately on the lookout for baggage.
It was March and tons of of individuals had flown to Israel for a research program on which Goldberg, who moved together with her household from america 15 years in the past and lives in Jerusalem. was aiding. Folks have been upset: Suitcases weren’t exhibiting up the place they have been imagined to.
“Rachel was actually on it: making telephone calls, calling the lodges, calling the buses, connecting with the folks, simply comforting them, saying, ‘I’m going to seek out it, we’re on it,’” recalled Rachel Kaufman, a Jewish educator from Los Angeles who was a part of the journey. “I witnessed her crying over folks being reunited with their baggage.”
Kaufman considered that have when she realized that Goldberg’s son, Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, had been taken hostage on Oct. 7 from the music competition he had been attending with a pal. If Goldberg could possibly be so delicate to the ache of others over one thing as inconsequential as baggage, how way more deeply should she be feeling her son’s absence?
Goldberg has answered that query day-after-day, typically greater than a dozen occasions, since Oct. 7, as she has develop into one of the vital seen advocates, significantly in English, for Israel’s hostages in Gaza. Each morning, she tapes a quantity to her shirt signifying the variety of days since Oct. 7 — Friday was 70 — after which, with a combination of heat and disappointment and steely willpower, spends the remainder of her time telling the world about Hersh.
Within the New York Instances, 5 days after he was taken, she described Hersh as “light and sort and at all times discovering inventive methods to enhance issues and join with different human beings.” She spoke to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who was the primary to point out her video exhibiting that Hersh’s arm had been blown off, however that he was alive when he was loaded onto a Hamas pickup truck and brought to Gaza. She and her husband Jon Polin have been featured on the quilt of Time journal.
Rachel Goldberg and Jon Polin posed with footage of their son Hersh on the quilt of Time Journal in November 2023. (Screenshot)
Since Oct. 7, she has addressed tons of of hundreds of U.S. Jews at a march in Washington, D.C.; the pope, whom she visited on the Vatican; and numerous others on social media and at rallies in america, Israel and past.
And but at the same time as the search to avoid wasting her son has absolutely occupied her for greater than two months, Goldberg remembers that second with the bags. She recalled in an interview this week that the lacking suitcase contained an irreplaceable merchandise, a set of household tefillin. The reunion with its proprietor got here after Goldberg and others gave tzedakah, charity, within the identify of a second-century Jewish sage.
“You may ask Rabbi Meir Baal Haness to return something that’s misplaced and your plea won’t ever go unanswered,” Goldberg mentioned. Custom holds that the facility is particularly assured on the primary day of the Jewish month of Tevet, which started this week.
“We did that custom on Rosh Chodesh Tevet for the return of our misplaced object named Hersh ben Perel Hana veYonatan Shimshon; we gave tzedakah in his identify,” Goldberg mentioned, utilizing her son’s conventional Hebrew identify. “I’m ready for the return of my stunning misplaced object named Hersh.”
Goldberg spoke to the Jewish Telegraphic Company on Thursday, as Israel tamped down hopes a few truce deal that would permit the discharge of extra hostages and as information emerged in regards to the deaths of three hostages in captivity. It was sooner or later earlier than Israel killed three hostages in Gaza after mistaking them for Hamas terrorists.
This interview has been calmly edited for size and readability.
JTA: It’s been 69 days since Hersh was captured. How are you and your loved ones doing now?
Goldberg: It’s not describable how any of us are doing to individuals who haven’t been by way of it. Thank God not many individuals have been by way of what we, the hostage households, are going by way of. We stand up each morning and we’ve got to fake to be folks. As a result of in an effort to save them we’ve got to perform. And in an effort to perform, you must fake to be an individual. In order that’s what we do. However for me, I really feel like 69 days in the past, somebody tore my coronary heart out and took it away. I’m strolling by way of this life on this very synthetic means. Simply attempting to do the perfect that I can in order that I can perform sufficient to have the ability to be productive in attempting to avoid wasting my son’s life.
Rachel Goldberg speaks throughout the “March For Israel” on the Nationwide Mall in Washington, D.C., Nov. 14, 2023. (Photograph by Noam Galai/Getty Photographs)
You’ve develop into this big inspiration for folks everywhere in the world, particularly for ladies. How does that sit with you?
I believe that lots of people strive very exhausting to empathize or sympathize with us. And that’s what speaks to them. This story could be very common, folks immediately can say, what if that was my son, my daughter, my mom, my husband, and other people immediately, join with the struggling that we’re going by way of. And we respect it. We respect that folks from everywhere in the world have reached out to us folks from all totally different religions and all totally different backgrounds. And it’s useful throughout this time when, when it’s typically a wrestle to get by way of the subsequent hour, typically it’s a wrestle to get by way of the subsequent quarter-hour and typically there’s similar to a second the place it’s insufferable. So all of that help — we really feel it and we respect it.
Are you able to converse a bit of extra about these moments of wrestle? The place does your thoughts go? What occurs? How do you get out of it?
From the very first day, it’s been a slow-motion terror. You realize typically you get a fright while you come round a nook and also you didn’t know somebody was there and you’ve got that second the place you leap again and also you’re like, oh my gosh, and your coronary heart is pumping in your chest. I didn’t realize it was sustainable. Nevertheless it has been infinite.
Rachel Goldberg, the mom of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, who was kidnapped to Gaza, speaks at a rally for the return of the hostages in Jerusalem, Nov. 4, 2023.(Yahel Gazit/Center East Photographs/AFP through Getty Photographs)
Individuals who hug me — and I don’t actually like that, essentially, presently — all people feedback, “Oh my god, your coronary heart is thrashing out of your chest.” Everybody who comes chest to chest with me can really feel it. It’s a relentless. Earlier than this, I was very lively. I used to train day-after-day besides Shabbat. Now, I haven’t completed a factor in 69 days, however my coronary heart is racing like a rabbit always. So it’s being in a state of fixed concern. Which is tough to handle. And that’s simply what all of us are going by way of.
And I believe what actually made it a lot worse was final Tuesday when the battle cupboard had a session the place they’d hostage households. Listening to the testimony from the launched hostages made it so that everybody went into anguished panic on overdrive of listening to in regards to the torture, the hunger, the situations, the trauma that the hostages are going by way of that, once we take into consideration that, it’s nearly really unendurable. All of this has been unendurable so it’s like one other stage of excruciation.
Have you learnt something in regards to the situations he’s in?
To be sincere, I strive not to consider how he’s being held. It’s not useful to me and it’s not useful to him. As a result of if I’m devastated, if I’m terrified, I can’t be as high-functioning and as efficient as I’m. I’m praying for him all day lengthy. And in my quiet moments, I’m at all times speaking to him and I’m at all times saying the mantra, I like you, keep robust, survive. I like you, keep robust, survive. I’m at all times singing the totally different songs that we might sing. That helps me get by way of.
A protester holds a poster with a photograph of 23-year-old U.S.-Israeli Hersh Goldberg-Polin as folks collect with indicators calling for the discharge of hostages held by Hamas since Oct. 7, throughout a rally in Tel Aviv, October 28, 2023. (Jack Guez/AFP through Getty Photographs)
It’s Hanukkah now. For those who needed to paint an excellent image of subsequent Hanukkah, how would that look?
Oh, gosh, nicely, I’d love for him to come back house actually quickly and have the time to get well in each means, to get the therapy he would wish in each means, not only a new arm however all of the trauma, emotional and psychological and non secular trauma, that every one of those hostages have been going by way of. I’d love for him to get each single factor he wants and I’d love for him to be on his journey subsequent Hanukkah. He has a ticket in a few weeks on December 27 for India and he was going to be touring for one to 2 years all over the world, which he’s been planning and dreaming of since he was in first grade with detailed maps and detailed plans, by himself. So I actually hope that he’ll be capable of take that journey and you already know what, you don’t want two arms to journey the world.
What would you want Israel to be doing proper now?
I believed that what occurred two weeks in the past with the pause was a superb framework to return to. The folks in Gaza are struggling horribly. The Gazan civilians are struggling horribly, in each means. I believed having humanitarian assist let in for them was essential. Getting a few of our hostages out was essential. And despite the fact that these negotiations have been held collectively by a really skinny, fragile thread, they have been profitable. They confirmed us that we’ve got the power to do this — everybody at that desk had the power to execute that, and all sides benefited. I’d like to see that occur once more.
How did you react to the reviews that the battle cupboard stopped the top of the Mossad David Barnea from touring to Qatar to barter one other hostage deal?
We have been devastated. We’re feeling such despair. Despair that, to be sincere, I don’t know that anybody within the battle cupboard can actually image as a result of I don’t suppose that anyone who hasn’t been in our footwear can actually really really feel the agony that we’re experiencing.
We’ve to be open to simply listening to what’s on the market. We’ve to be open to simply sitting on the desk. That’s why we elect leaders in order that they could possibly be our representatives — in good and unhealthy. We all know that our family members are being held in brutal situations. We now have heard from the hostages who have been launched that there’s torture, hunger and there’s bombing occurring. Time is totally not on our facet. So to listen to that our cupboard didn’t wish to simply even entertain listening to an possibility is, for all of us who suppose that every hour is one other hour that perhaps our beloved one is definitely dying, is devastating. It’s terrifying for all of us.
There have been reviews that Egypt has been approached to probably dealer a hostage negotiation. What are your ideas on that?
I’d love for one thing like that to occur. I believe Egyptians have at all times been proper there attempting to assist and are very dependable companions, truly. So I’d like to see Egypt be extra concerned. Qatar has been clearly a extremely useful companion throughout this time. On the finish of the day, I’m not a politician. I’m not a navy strategist. I’m a mother of a civilian who was taken in a really aggressive means from a really impartial place from a music competition. And I need him again.
In your quest, you’ve met and spoken with a number of the most influential folks: the pope, Elon Musk and President Biden. What has that been like?
I felt very fortunate and privileged to get to satisfy the pope. He’s such a significant, influential determine on the planet, not simply to Catholics. I’ve been feeling this actually painful method to humanity since October 7, this sense that people had failed. We’ve this cognitive dissonance between who we expect people are and who we actually are and I used to be actually shedding my hope in humanity. He was the one who truly mentioned to me, ‘What you’ve all been by way of is true terrorism, and terrorism is the shortage of humanity.’ And impulsively, it was like I had this change the place I noticed, Oh, OK, so what we’ve skilled was the shortage of humanity. It wasn’t that people aren’t good. It’s that this was a second the place humanity wasn’t current.
I discovered him to be very comforting and I believed he was additionally particularly reasonable that once we left quarter-hour later, he had a gaggle of Palestinians are available in, and I believe that that’s essential.
President Biden and [U.S. Secretary of State] Anthony Blinken have each been from the very first week in contact with us and been not simply sympathetic and never simply empathetic, however very a lot anguished and motivated to strive their finest. We really feel that.
With Elon Musk, to start with, you must perceive that I haven’t watched information in 69 days. I respect that he took the time to come back right here. He mentioned, I wish to perceive what is occurring. As a result of he was seeing one facet. I perceive that the world sees all these horrible photos popping out of Gaza. They’re horrible. I additionally really feel great ache and anguish seeing these photos of harmless kids in rubble. When he was right here, Elon Musk noticed the 47-minute reel [that Israel produced of Oct. 7 footage]. Most of these photos have been taken by Hamas themselves. It was very highly effective for him.
I confirmed him that video of Hersh along with his arm blown off getting loaded onto that truck at gunpoint. He appeared very moved and really involved and listened to everybody’s tales.
I’m requested to talk in other places the place I’d by no means have been talking earlier than and I simply marvel if it’s serving to, if it’s doing something on the planet. If it’s serving to the hostages, if it’s serving to Hersh. I don’t know.
On that time, you’ve mentioned in an interview that you simply go to mattress at evening and suppose that is like the parable of Sisyphus. Is there a degree the place you say, nicely, I’m not going to push this rock up the hill anymore?
It hasn’t occurred but. And I do marvel to myself is there going to be a day the place I get up and say, neglect it. I don’t suppose so. As a result of I believe that is such a finely motivated intuition of saving my baby. A lot of that is like an animalistic, primal, innate response to hazard of my offspring. I do get up every morning and I say this prayer that’s conventional to say earlier than you get off the bed. And I say, ‘OK, Hersh, keep robust, survive, I’m going to get you.’ And I get off the bed and do all of it once more. Usually I’ll say to myself, keep robust, survive, as a result of I have to have the energy to maintain preventing. It’s like a marathon that by no means ends, however it’s a marathon. Truly, Ruby [Chen], one of many different hostages’ dad, mentioned it’s a marathon you must dash by way of. It’s just like the worst of each forms of endurance take a look at.
How do you draw energy out of your religion? Do you’ve moments of complete despair? I’ve witnessed a number of the relations of different hostages screaming at God.
Oh sure. However that’s a part of a relationship with God. So I truly suppose it’s actually wholesome. After I’m screaming at God, it reveals I consider on this thought of God. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be screaming. I pray day-after-day. I’ve been doing this for years, that predates October 7. I undoubtedly am calling out once I’m praying, I’m praying like this [gestures skyward]. My palms are up within the air. I’m in dialogue. I’m undoubtedly shouting and I believe that that may be a signal of a relationship. I say Psalms all day and a few of them are simply so related by way of saying, ‘Cease turning your face away from me. I need you to reply me now.’ It’s actual desperation. And that’s related.
There’s the Psalm in regards to the pleasure that we’re going to expertise when the captives return to Zion, which is simply stunning and related and so spot on. And there’s ones the place David is asking out from contained in the darkness of the cave, saying, get me out of right here. And once I say that, I say I’m saying it within the identify of my son, and I say it for him as if it’s him calling up from the darkness of the cave. I draw great energy from that.
I believe it’d be a lot more durable if I didn’t have my religion as a crutch to assist me by way of this.
What have you ever realized about your self, and about your husband Jon and your daughters throughout all this, and in addition about Hersh?
About Jon, I thank God he’s my companion. He’s simply an unbelievable fighter. good, inventive, sharp. Relentless. I don’t know what different companion I may get by way of this with. And we’re so respectful of one another by way of this time of excruciating tribulation. I even have been impressed with the [girls’] resilience.
Jonathan Polin, 53, from left, Rachel Goldberg, 53, recount their final interactions with their lacking son Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, who went lacking after Hamas launched a shock assault and breached Israeli borders, taking hostages, whereas relations and buddies present as much as help them at their house in Jerusalem, Oct. 10, 2023. (Marcus Yam / Los Angeles Instances through Getty Photographs)
About myself: I by no means would have thought I may have endured what I’ve been enduring. By no means. I’m not a very robust particular person pre-October 7, and I’m a extremely emotional particular person. I used to be the one who would cry throughout the Kodak business. In fact I’ve numerous emotional occasions now, however I’m strolling one foot in entrance of the opposite and attempting to do what I have to do to be able to save them earlier than it’s too late.
About Hersh — what’s so fascinating to me, and I give it some thought so much, is that my love for him has continued to develop and develop in his absence. Which is smart, however it’s not one thing I used to be ever conscious of earlier than, when he traveled or when he went to camp or no matter it’s. I used to be by no means cognizant of that earlier than. Now, I’m a lot extra conscious once I get up. It’s like, I like him greater than I did yesterday. And the connection that I’ve with him continues to be creating. I’m conscious of that and perhaps a part of that’s as a result of I’m speaking to him much more as a result of I speak to him all day lengthy.
After I was in Rome, after assembly the pope, I used to be sitting in a room and so they don’t actually converse numerous English there. So there was a room crammed with numerous Italian and I used to be sitting there and somebody mentioned, ‘You appear so calm, such as you’ve been sitting right here for 20 minutes, you haven’t moved,’ and I believed, I’ve been speaking to Hersh this entire time.
Is there one thing that you simply really feel that you simply want from the world proper now? And American Jews particularly?
We’ve felt great help from the American Jewish inhabitants. The reality is, we felt that from the Jewish group everywhere in the world.
I believe that calling each single day to the White Home continues to be essential, essential, essential. And folks may also name their native elected officers if that’s what they like. We’ve this web site One Min A Day which makes it tremendous straightforward, you possibly can simply click on in your zip code, and it’ll present you your native elected officers. For those who want to ship a textual content you possibly can. I believe calling is extra essential. We do have a textual content for folks to make use of in the event that they’re not comfy winging it, however it’s a 20-second message: “Hello, it’s day 69. We nonetheless have eight Individuals in Gaza. Unacceptable. And 122 others.” I do suppose that everybody can name each single day. Initially, you possibly can really feel while you undergo the day that you’ve got completed one thing and I believe in helpless conditions in life, to know that even when it’s only one minute, however you’ve completed one thing, and it’s a minute and you probably did it and it’s doable, and it’s ritualized. Simply do it while you first stand up or no matter it’s. So I believe that’s actually essential.
I believe that attempting to universalize the message of the hostages is one thing we’re attempting to actually push. These aren’t simply Israeli Jews being held. These are folks from many alternative nations. The [hostage] who has diabetes and desires his meds — he could not even nonetheless be alive. He’s a Muslim Arab. That needs to be hanging outdoors of a synagogue, or a mosque or a church. It shouldn’t be a Jewish subject. This can be a human subject, and we have to universalize the hostage state of affairs in an effort to get that to remain on folks’s minds.
However even the state of affairs of the hostages grew to become politicized, as you already know, with posters being torn down. And now the worldwide group’s perspective in the direction of Israel is shifting because the numbers of deaths rise in Gaza. What are your reflections on that?
I perceive that. I perceive that when hundreds of civilians are being killed, the world isn’t going to be comfy with that. I’m not comfy with that. I don’t suppose anybody right here is comfy with that. These aren’t supposed outcomes. And that is what I talked about on the UN and in New York. The horrible factor about any battle is that we all know that the individuals who endure essentially the most are the harmless, are the civilians. I perceive the frustration. I really feel that, too.
In your speech to the United Nations this week, you talked about a poem you wrote to a Gazan lady referred to as “One Tiny Seed.” Are you able to inform us extra about that?
I don’t sleep so much anymore. In the course of the evening, I typically write — I’ve by no means been a author, and I’m not a terrific author. However I discover that I can sort of write poetry as a result of it’s extra forgiving. I don’t even know if that was a poem. It was a musing.
I believe we’re simply going to need to take numerous dangers if we wish to have any kind of future on this world. Our weapons are so refined, our hazard stage is so refined, the anger is so ingrained. Ache is so deep. And we’re going to need to make an actual option to determine, will we wish to determine how we dwell collectively and will probably be scary, and it’ll require giving up on issues that we maintain to be very pricey to us in an effort to dwell, or are we going to say, OK, you already know what, we’re not prepared and that is the start of the top. I believe we’re simply actually at a crossroads.
I do know there should be a girl in Gaza, who’s similar to me, who has a son similar to mine, and I pray that she’s caring for my son. And I do know there are girls in Gaza who’re precisely my age and look similar to me and have youngsters similar to mine. And you already know, I actually was talking to that lady saying, can we take greater possibilities collectively, despite the fact that that tiny seed can be wrapped in a lot ache and a lot concern.
There was speak about a number of the hostages in want of pressing medical care being launched. Has anybody talked to you about that?
We completely agreed that girls and kids and infants ought to actually have been launched first in order that was not a difficulty for us. We all know that there have been some households [of hostages] who felt very strongly that you simply don’t do “selectzia” [selection] and that individuals are folks and it shouldn’t matter. We didn’t really feel that for no matter purpose. I’m not faulting them. We did say in some unspecified time in the future we do suppose that the critically maimed, wounded ought to [be prioritized]. Hersh might be disabled for the remainder of his life. He’ll, God prepared, come house and he’ll dwell the remainder of his life with out an arm and it’s his dominant arm. I’m positive it’s tremendously tough for him as a result of we don’t know what sort of therapy if any, he had, I don’t know what sort of antibiotics if any, he has, I’m positive he’s getting no ache remedy. There’s no clear water. A variety of the hostages launched mentioned that within the 50 days of captivity, they by no means as soon as took a bathe. So you possibly can think about as a mom pondering of this baby who has an explosive amputation of a limb, not gaining access to having it cleaned, is terrifying.
We undoubtedly hope and pray that if there was any speak of releasing people who find themselves in a humanitarian, critically wounded situation — regardless of their age — we wish that as one big class.
Thanks for talking to me. I pray that we’ll see Hersh and the others house quickly.
Please maintain praying, we actually consider in it. You realize what, you possibly can speak to him too. The extra folks which might be speaking to him, I believe he’ll hear. Who is aware of which of us he can hear?
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